On my way in to work this morning I was having some pretty bad self esteem issues. I started thinking that I had failed at this weight loss surgery. I started thinking that I am one of those people who has the surgery, loses a bunch of weight and then gains it all back, plus some. But in reality, I have only gained back a small amount and I know I can get it back off. I started thinking to myself, is being fat the worse thing a person can be? So many people in our society make fat people out to be the worst people alive. What I say to them is, Am I a murderer? NO! Am I a thief? NO! Am I dishonest? NO!
What I am is Smart! Funny! Kind! Honest! Trustworthy! And many more great and wonderful things!
What I am is a woman who struggled with weight issues all her life and then had surgery to help with that. I did lost about 130 pounds. My highest weight being 315 and my lowest being 185. I dealt with transfer addictions, and am still dealing with the aftermath of that. While I was drinking I was at my lowest because I wasn't eating, instead I was drinking. Once I stopped drinking I had to fuel my body with food otherwise my blood sugar would drop and I would have major issues. So as of today I have gained back about 30 of the original pounds I had lost. My therapist said that after two years post WLS, the majority of people will gain 10-20% back of their weight and they will have to try to maintain their weight or get off that 10-20% they gained, but they have a harder time getting it back off. She didn't say they couldn't she just said they have a harder time.
I eat the proper portions. I do have a hard time staying under the calorie limit my doctor wants me to stay under as I do have a blood sugar issue and it tends to drop many times during the day if I am not eating every hour to two hours. I do admit I am not eating the best things for my body, but hey at least I can admit it. I do have a plan to cut down on the bad things and increase the good things. I am also facing a problem with the good things that I can eat. There is a good chunk of vegetables I can't eat. I don't have a problem with any of the meat proteins except fish so the meat protein we eat is usually chicken breast, lean red meat and pork.
I noticed last night that the weight I am gaining is in my knees and thighs, and a little in my boobs. A little is in my belly area but not too much. My clothes still fit at the size 12/14. I do notice that my pants fit tighter in the leg area than they used to. My thought is that if I have to go up a size in pants to be able to fit my legs for now while I try to get this yucky regain weight off, then so be it. I won't, however, allow myself to have to buy any more than 1 size up.
I am determined to get this regain weight off. I do feel a lot healthier now that I am not drinking, than when I was drinking. I can still walk better now than when I was over 300 pounds. I am not prediabetic anymore. My only real health issues are vitamin deficiencies and the low blood sugar.
SO ONCE AGAIN I ASK: IS BEING FAT THE WORST THING A PERSON CAN BE?
