The Journey Of Life

I embarked on a journey of totally changing myself last year. This journey is continuing everyday. I had surgery on June 27, 2013. I started the surgery process in September of 2012. So I guess technically this journey has been going on for well over a year. I had made a choice to change the person I was, both in my personal life as well as my professional life. As with most good things in life, you have to wait your time for them. I am not a patient person so anything I have to wait for is really hard for me. Thankfully I have had people in my life reassuring me that being patient will pay off. And it truly has paid off. 

Personally: I have lost 76.5", 124 lbs and have gone from a size 26/28 to a size 14. My husband and I have gotten stronger in our marriage through some trials we have gone through. I have had to learn how find my voice and stick up for myself. 

Professionally: I have been working on my Bachelor degree in Health Informatics. I have 7 classes left. I have been trying to find a job where I can use my AA degree which is in Health Information and I finally found one. I have also had to find my voice in my professional life and stick up for myself.

In regards to my weight loss journey, there are days that I absolutely hate it. I hate that I have to think about food more now than I have ever had to. Some days I hate that I can't finish a meal that is put in front of me. Some days I hate that I can't eat whatever I want. There are days though, more often than not, that I absolutely love this tool that I was given. I love the fact that I have lost as much as I have and that I still have more to lose and that I will be smaller than I have ever been. I love that I can budget less for food since we don't eat as much as we used to. I love that I feel and look better than I ever have. I have learned how to choose substitutes for the things I absolutely want. I have found an amazing no sugar added cheesecake, some yummy sugar free chocolates and sugar free cookies. I know my limits and I don't go over them. One day last week a coworker had some skittles. I haven't had skittles in well over a year or more. I asked if I could have one. She laughed at me and said yes but aren't you going to crave them more if you have just one. I told her I just wanted one to have the taste of it and then I would be ok. I did eat just the one and I was ok. I would never eat more than one because I know I would be absolutely sick.

Yesterday was a very hard day. The group I was with went out to lunch and they ordered dessert after the meal. They ordered these 3 different cookies with ice cream on top. I was almost in tears. It was so very hard to sit there and watch them eat it. But I persevered and made it through. They were really good about it telling me how great I look now and telling me to remember how far I had come. Once I left the group I went in to the mall and walked past Cinnabon. That was one of the hardest things to do, just walk past. I so totally wished I could walk up to the counter and order a Cinnabon. Even writing about it now is so hard. I just want to be "normal" again. By normal I mean be able to eat whatever I want. But not really. If I were "normal" again I would be as big as  I was before. I never want to be that big again and I never will be. I just need to take it one day at a time, and even sometimes one moment at a time as I did yesterday. I am proud of myself for not giving in. I know if I had given in I would have been so sick. 

 
Here are my latest measurements. I haven't taken photos in a very long time. I think this week I will take some and show the difference between when I started and where I am now. I still have about 50 to 55 pounds to lose. I love when people look at me and ask "where are those last 50 pounds going to come from?" I know I have about 10 to 15 pounds in loose skin that needs to be removed,and probably more by the time I am done with all of this.
 
Right Arm: 12"  (I stayed the same)(I have lost 5")
Left Arm: 11.5"  (I have lost 5.5")

Right Leg: 21"  (I stayed the same)(I have lost 10")
Left Leg: 21"    (I have lost 11")

Right Calf: 14"  (I have lost 5")
Left Calf: 13.5" (I have lost 5")

Chest: 41.5"      (I have lost 18.5")
Waist: 37"     (I stayed the same)(I have lost 16.5")

Current Weight: 191 lbs   (I have lost 124 lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: top is 14/16 and bottom is 14
Total inches lost:  76.5

Newest Measurements

Here are my newest measurements. Last ones were taken 33 days ago. I am finally in Onderland! That was one of the most exciting things that has ever happened to me. Yesterday while we were at the mall I decided to go in to the Lucky Jean store. I thought they wouldn't have my size because I am in between a 14 and 16. I asked the sales lady if I could try on a 16 and a 14 she said sure. I tried on the 14 first thinking it wouldn't fit yet, but lo and behold it did fit. I wasn't going to buy a $100 pair of jeans when I would just be out of that size in a month or so. But I did tell the sales lady when I get to my goal weight I will come in and buy a pair. They said they would give me 25% off for being such an inspiration and losing that much weight. GO ME!!!!

Right Arm: 12"  (I stayed the same)(I have lost 5")
Left Arm: 12"    (I stayed the same)(I have lost 5")

Right Leg: 21"  (I stayed the same)(I have lost 10")
Left Leg: 21.5" (I stayed the same)(I have lost 10.5")

Right Calf: 15"  (I have lost 4")
Left Calf: 14.5" (I have lost 4")

Chest: 42"      (I have lost 18")
Waist: 37"      (I have lost 16.5")

Current Weight: 198lbs   (I have lost 117 lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: top is 14/16 and bottom is 14
Total inches lost:  73

29 Weeks Out From Surgery, Which Is Just Over 7 Months.

 

 

January 16, 2014

Top is from June 12, 2013. 308 pounds. Bottom is from January 16, 2014. 205 pounds.

I have been playing with the same 5-7 pounds for the past month. I know why. I haven't been getting in the protein I should, and I haven't been working out like I should. Starting next week i am getting back in to the gym. I need to start losing again. I have thought about doing the 5 day pouch test, and I just might do it when we go grocery shopping on the 25th of this month. 

I don't eat too bad. Breakfast can be half of a bacon and egg breakfast sandwich with a sugar free red bull with sugar free raspberry flavoring. Lunch is usually a grilled chicken breast, or left overs from the night before. Dinner can be anything from pot roast and veggies, or chicken stir fry, or tacos, or chicken chili, or chicken sausage, or hamburger patties with mac and cheese, or turkey roll ups. For snacks I eat maybe 1 ounce of Cheez Its, or 1 ounce of Pita Chips, or beef jerky, or a protein shake. I always make sure to eat the protein part of my dinner first. I am sure I can cut down on a lot of my carbs and I could jump start my weight loss again.

This is not an easy journey, but it has been well worth it. Surgery isn't for everyone, but if you have done all you can do to lose the weight and still can't get it off, then maybe it is for you. I am so thankful for all my family and friends, near and far, for the support they have given me. 

One thing that does bother me is when people who are a year or more out tell me that I will eventually fall off the wagon and eat the things I shouldn't eat. I had a lady tell me at a support group on Tuesday that she is 4 years out and her weakness is Skittles, even though they make her really sick. Why in the world would you continue to eat things that make you sick? I can honestly say I have not purposely eaten anything that I knew was going to make me sick just because I wanted it so bad. I have eaten some things I didn't think would make me sick and they did end up making me sick, like too many carbs that turn in to sugar. I don't purposely eat sugar. I have found a lot of substitutes for the things that I used to eat that I can no longer eat. I have found a few sugar free candies that are good. I only have or or two a day, I don't go over board. A lot of people say the sugar free candies can have a laxative effect, but I don't eat enough of them to have that effect. I have so desparately wanted a donut since surgery, but I know even one bite has so much sugar in it that it would make me sick. So why would i eat it? I saw a girl on a support group online that ate two donuts and then complained about it making her sick. DUH!!!!!!!!!! It is going to make you sick because it is pure sugar. I know that only about 30% of bypass patients get dumping, by why chance it just to eat that one thing.

I spent about 9 months before surgery changing the way I eat and changing my thinking patterns. My husband and I were just talking the other night how my emotional eating has really gone down, maybe even has been deleted from my life. I used to reward myself with food as well, and now I find things to reward myself with that are not food. I have come to realize that it is ok to have bad days and not have to eat myself silly because of them. I have come to realize that I can get together with friends and family and it not revolve around food, or if it does, then I can limit what I eat and I don't have to eat myself silly. I have come to realize that I don't need a Venti Starbucks Coffee every two weeks when I get paid just because I made it through the two weeks of work. When I hit my 100 pounds lost I went indoor skydiving. I didn't reward my loss with food. When I hit my goal weight I am not going to celebrate with food, I have plans to go shark cage diving or real sky diving. I am really proud of myself for coming so far.

Newest Measurements

Here are my newest measurements. Last ones were taken 27 days ago. It's sad that I haven't lost more inches in the last month, but to be honest I haven't tried as hard as I had been trying. With Christmas and work and school and getting sick I took some time off from the gym. I need to get back in the gym and get things moving again. I am only 5 pounds away from Onderland! I can do this.

Right Arm: 12"  (I stayed the same)(I have lost 5")
Left Arm: 12"    (I stayed the same)(I have lost 5")

Right Leg: 21"  (I stayed the same)(I have lost 10")
Left Leg: 21.5" (I stayed the same)(I have lost 10.5")

Right Calf: 15.5"  (I have lost 3.5")
Left Calf: 15"    (I have lost 3.5")

Chest: 42.5"      (I have lost 17.5")
Waist: 39.5"      (I have lost 14")

Current Weight: 204lbs   (I have lost 111 lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: top is 14/16 and bottom is 16
Total inches lost:  69

Head Hunger/Cravings

I belong to several gastric bypass support groups on facebook. Today someone who is pre-op asked about head hunger and cravings. This got me thinking about those two topics. Here are my thoughts on them:

There are times, especially close to that time of the month, where I crave certain things. I know without a doubt that if I were to give in to the sweet cravings and have that cupcake that I used to have before surgery I would get sick. Instead of having the cupcake full of sugar, I find a way to have something that is sugar free. For instance today I made sugar free cookies with sugar free frosting. They were pretty good, but alot sweeter than regular sugar cookies are.

I had also been craving something fried. So I went to McDonalds. Before surgery I would have had two cheeseburgers, a large fry, a large sweet tea, a mcchicken, a 6 piece nugget and an extra cheeseburger. I would eat all of that in one sitting. Today when I went to McDonald's I had a 4 piece chicken nugget Happy meal. It came with the 4 chicken nuggets and a kids size fry. I shared 1 of my chicken nuggets with my dogs, so I ate 3 and I shared some of my fries with the dogs so I didn't eat all the kids size fry. I would have to say that is a drastic difference!!! My head totally wanted to get the extra stuff, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to eat it and the only reason I had thought about getting it was because it had become habit from before.

I truly have not gone out and had the donuts and cupcakes and sweets that I used to eat before surgery. Sure I do crave them quite a bit, but I haven't done it because I knew I would be sick. I used to have a ritual of getting a Starbucks drink every pay day. I have only had Starbucks a few times since surgery. There isn't a lot at Starbucks that I can drink that doesn't have sugar. My husband and I used to have a ritual of going and getting donuts every couple of weeks. There is an amazing donut place just down the road from us. I have found myself driving there before and then realizing I can't go there so I turn and go the other way.

I have found some really great recipes online that help me get my cravings out of the way with stuff that I can eat. I made some really yummy lemon bars for Christmas that were sugar free. I found that Walmart carries sugar free chocolate chips that make amazing sugar free chocolate chip cookies!

So here is what I have to say about head hunger and cravings. If you can find a way to make what you are craving in a way that won't make you sick, go for it. If you have to have something you are craving that may not be the best for you such as fatty foods, have just a bite or two of it. I have found that since surgery my taste buds have changed and what I crave may not taste the same now as it did before surgery. 

6 Month Update/Newest Measurements

It is hard to believe that tomorrow, December 12, 2013 will be 6 months from the day I had my gastric bypass surgery. Life is so much better these days. I am down 105 pounds. That is amazing! I am down from a size 26/28 to a 14/16. I couldn't even imagine having that extra 105 pounds on me again. When I started to get to the 90 pound lost point my weight loss started to slow down. I have 70 to go until my goal. I know they won't come off as fast as the first 100, but if I continue to work hard at it, it will eventually come off. This is a journey. Like the name of my blog says "You didn't get fat overnight," so I know I won't get thin overnight. People around me remind me on a daily basis just how far I have come. Some days I am brutally hard on myself for the things I eat, but other days I am easy on myself. 

I am so thankful for my husband, my mom and dad, and my friends that have helped me get to this point. They have all had a part in me getting here. They have believed in me, lifted me when I feel low, gave me high fives when I feel high, they have been a great support!

I am amazed at the photos I have taken along the way. In the ones from the beginning I barely recognize myself. The newest photos make me smile. :) 

Here are my newest measurements. Last ones were taken 28 days ago.

Right Arm: 12"   (I have lost 5")
Left Arm: 12"    (I have lost 5")

Right Leg: 21"  (I have lost 10")
Left Leg: 21.5" (I have lost 10.5")

Right Calf: 16"  (I stayed the same)(I have lost 3")
Left Calf: 15.5"  (I stayed the same)(I have lost 3")

Chest: 43"      (I have lost 17")
Waist: 40"      (I stayed the same)(I have lost 13.5")

Current Weight: 210lbs   (I have lost 105 lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: top is 14/16 and bottom is 16
Total inches lost:  67

Top photos from 12-11-13, bottom photos from 06-20-13

 

23 Day Challenge

So as of tomorrow there are 23 days until the 1st of the year. When I weighed in today I was 211. It is my goal to be in ONDERLAND on the 1st of the year. That means I have to lose 12 pounds in 23 days. That is about a pound every other day. I think it's doable, but not quite sure.

I plan on drinking a protein shake for breakfast and lunch and eating a sensible dinner. I plan on working out my 3 days a week. I hope that with these two things I can accomplish this. I will try to eat snacks high in protein in between meals, like nuts or beef jerky.

I really really really want to be in ONDERLAND soon. I haven't been under 200 pounds since I was in high school. I graduated high school in 1998 so that was 15 years ago!

I am making this public so people who are around me can help hold me accountable. There are two instances where I will be eating lunch instead of a dinner. We are having a pot luck at work on the 20th and I will be having my shake that day for breakfast and again for dinner. On the 14th I am meeting up with a dear friend for lunch so that day I will be having a shake for breakfast and one for dinner.

Let the challenge begin!!!!!!