4 Year Surgiversary

So here I am, amost 4 years out from gastric bypass surgery. Life has been interesting to say the least. I was at my lowest weight in 2015 but I was also in the midst of my alcohol problem. Since I became sober, I had gained 45 pounds back from the original weight I lost. I lost 19 pounds of the regain. I have to keep telling myself that at least I am not back to my original pre-surgery weight. My goal is to continue being sober and slowly work on the weight loss. Here are the measurement comparisons for the past 4 years:

	2013	2014	2015	2017
Right Arm	17	11	12	13
Left Arm	18	11	12	12
Chest	59	41	40	43
Waist	53.5	37	41	44
Right Leg	31	20.5	23	23
Left Leg	32	20	23	23
Right Calf	19	14	16	15.75
Left Calf	18.5	14	16	15.75
Current Weight	315	185	185	211
Current Height	5'5"	5'5"	5'5"	5'5"
Current Size	26	12	12	14/16

I don't have much to say that I haven't said in years past. Except that even if you do have regain, all hope is not lost. You can lose it. It may not be quickly, but then again like I have always said you didn't get fat overnight!

Some new awesome recipes we tried and liked

STUFFED MEATBALLS

2 pound ground beef

1.5 cup plain bread crumbs

1 cup grated Parmesan cheese

1 cup water

4 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

2 egg

3 teaspoons garlic powder

2 teaspoon salt

1.5 teaspoon black pepper

4 sticks of string cheese cut into 5 pieces to make 20 cubes

20 button mushrooms

What To Do:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
• Coat a baking sheet with cooking spray. 
• In a large bowl, combine all ingredients except mozzarella cheese; mix well.
• Divide mixture into 20 meatballs, then put a cheese cube in each mushroom. Form each meatball around a mushroom, making sure to cover mushroom completely. Place on prepared baking sheet. 
• Bake 15 to 20 minutes or until no longer pink in center. Serve immediately. We served it with sauce and spaghetti noodles

 INDIAN BUTTER CHICKEN MASALA RECIPE

Ingredients:

1lb of boneless chicken, cubed
1 onions, minced
1 can of tomato sauce
1 tbsp of butter
1 tsp of minced garlic
1 tsp of minced ginger
1 tsp of chilli powder
1 tsp of garam masala or chicken masala
1 tsp of tika masala
1 can of coconut milk
1-2 tsp salt (adjust to taste)
 1/4 tsp of turmeric powder

How to Make Butter Chicken:

·                     Heat the butter in a pan and add the minced onions. Fry until golden brown
·                     Coat the chicken with the tika masala
·                     Add the ginger, garlic, coriander, chilli powder, turmeric, and salt. Fry for a minute until fragrant
·                     Add the pureed tomato and tomato paste and cook for 3-4 mins until the mixture bubbles uniformly
·                     Thrown in the kasuri methi, milk, and the cubed chicken. Cook covered for 8-10 mins until the chicken is soft. The chicken will let out more water, just check once or twice in between and give the curry a stir. Keep the flame on sim
·                     When the chicken is cooked soft, open the lid and cook for a further minute or two. If the gravy is too thick, add some water at this stage
·                     When done, add the garam masala or chicken masala and the coconut milk. Give it a good stir, but don't boil
·                     Serve with Jasmine Rice.

INDIAN MEATLOAF AND CURRY MASHED POTATOES

Ingredients:
2 lbs ground beef (or whatever ground meat you want)
4-5 slices of bread (I used whole grain)
1/2 cup of milk to soak bread 
1 Tbs of fresh or dried parsley
1-2Tbs of Garam Masala
1-2 Tbs Tandoori Masala
1/2 tsp of ground turmeric
1/2 Tbs of ground cumin
red chili flakes to taste 
2 eggs
1Tbs of grated ginger
1Tbs of grated garlic 
3 Tbs curry powder
2 large carrots grated (see note) 
1 medium onion minced  (see note) 
2 stalks celery minced (see note)

Directions:

• In a large pan fry the carrots, celery and onions. When the vegetables soften add the ginger and garlic and saute for another 2 minutes. Then add the garam masala, tandori masala, cumin, curry powder, turmeric and salt and saute for several more minutes.
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• Cook the water out that the vegetables will give off. The mixture should be dry.   Taste for seasoning (this mixture will be a little strong, but it will balance out once mixed with the meat). Allow the mixture to cool down.  In a separate bowl mix the bread and milk together and crumble. Then add the ground beef, eggs, parsley and some additional salt and pepper.
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• Mix the masala vegetable mixture with the meat mixture.   Free form the meatloaf mixture onto a baking tray. I suggest you cover the baking tray with some foil and spray it with cooking spray or oil first.  Once the meatloaf is formed into a loaf, place in a 400 degree oven for 50-60 minutes until cooked. 
• We made some mashed potatoes on the side that I added some heavy cream to instead of regular milk and I added about 2 Tbs curry powder, use as much or little as you like to taste.

CHICKEN IN GARLIC WINE CREAM SAUCE

Ingredients

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts

2 tablespoons olive oil

1/2 cup onion, chopped

3 minced garlic cloves

5 -6 fresh mushrooms, sliced

1 small jar of artichoke hearts, drained

1/4 cup butter

1/4 cup white wine

1 dash Worcestershire sauce

1 pint cream ( heavy or light)

salt and pepper

1 teaspoon basil

1 teaspoon parsley

Directions

• Grill the chicken on the George Forman or another grill type top. Set aside.
• Add oil, onion, garlic, artichoke hearts, mushrooms, and butter and saute about 4-5 minutes until onions start to become translucent.
• Add wine and Worcestershire sauce and cook an additional 2 minutes.
• Lower heat and add cream, salt, pepper, basil, and parsley.
• Too high of heat will cause the cream to curdle.
• Simmer on low 20-25 minutes until done.
• Serve with fettuccini noodles or another big noodle of your choice.

Is Being Fat The Worst A Person Can Be?

  On my way in to work this morning I was having some pretty bad self esteem issues. I started thinking that I had failed at this weight loss surgery. I started thinking that I am one of those people who has the surgery, loses a bunch of weight and then gains it all back, plus some. But in reality, I have only gained back a small amount and I know I can get it back off.  I started thinking to myself, is being fat the worse thing a person can be? So many people in our society make fat people out to be the worst people alive. What I say to them is, Am I a murderer? NO! Am I a thief? NO! Am I dishonest? NO!
  What I am is Smart! Funny! Kind! Honest! Trustworthy! And many more great and wonderful things!
  What I am is a woman who struggled with weight issues all her life and then had surgery to help with that. I did lost about 130 pounds. My highest weight being 315 and my lowest being 185. I dealt with transfer addictions, and am still dealing with the aftermath of that. While I was drinking I was at my lowest because I wasn't eating, instead I was drinking. Once I stopped drinking I had to fuel my body with food otherwise my blood sugar would drop and I would have major issues. So as of today I have gained back about 30 of the original pounds I had lost. My therapist said that after two years post WLS, the majority of people will gain 10-20% back of their weight and they will have to try to maintain their weight or get off that 10-20% they gained, but they have a harder time getting it back off. She didn't say they couldn't she just said they have a harder time.
  I eat the proper portions. I do have a hard time staying under the calorie limit my doctor wants me to stay under as I do have a blood sugar issue and it tends to drop many times during the day if I am not eating every hour to two hours. I do admit I am not eating the best things for my body, but hey at least I can admit it. I do have a plan to cut down on the bad things and increase the good things. I am also facing a problem with the good things that I can eat. There is a good chunk of vegetables I can't eat. I don't have a problem with any of the meat proteins except fish so the meat protein we eat is usually chicken breast, lean red meat and pork.
  I noticed last night that the weight I am gaining is in my knees and thighs, and a little in my boobs. A little is in my belly area but not too much. My clothes still fit at the size 12/14. I do notice that my pants fit tighter in the leg area than they used to. My thought is that if I have to go up a size in pants to be able to fit my legs for now while I try to get this yucky regain weight off, then so be it. I won't, however, allow myself to have to buy any more than 1 size up.
  I am determined to get this regain weight off. I do feel a lot healthier now that I am not drinking, than when I was drinking. I can still walk better now than when I was over 300 pounds. I am not prediabetic anymore. My only real health issues are vitamin deficiencies and the low blood sugar.


  SO ONCE AGAIN I ASK: IS BEING FAT THE WORST THING A PERSON CAN BE?

Transfer Addictions

Please no judging of my post as it is hard to come clean to my family and friends but I really need to. I am writing today to talk about a very deep dark subject. I had surgery for Gastric Bypass two years ago. Around December of 2013 I found ALCOHOL. I had my times of drinking in the past but this has become a serious problem since December 2013. I am going to tell you some things that are dear and personal to me but I think it needs to be talked about.

My husband's mother passed away and then a few months later my grandmother passed away. This is how it began. We went to a soup kitchen near our house and decided to sit at the pool hall/bar next door to the soup kitchen to eat our soup. We decided to order a long island. Boy was that a yummy drink. Before this my husband and I never really drank together before. I mean on our honeymoon we had a drink or two, but we never got drunk. That one long island that day led to another and another. Then we kept going back because we really liked the people and the bartenders there. Then we discovered we could buy alcohol and drink at home. We learned how to make "bombs." Bombs are two shots of soda or juice or crystal light and one shot of alcohol. A few of those and we were having a good time. A few more and I would black out and not remember the next day what happened. I have my fair share of bruises from falling down because I was so drunk. I would take baths and drink while bathing and when getting out of the bath I would fall. I fell in to the glass door of our office and broke one of the window panes with my shoulder. Hubby had to pick glass out of it and clean it up for me. I fell out of bed one time and fell on to my laptop and broke it. I ended up with a huge bruise that didn't go away for weeks. I still have a scar from that bruise. We named him Frank.

I can't tell you how many arguments my husband and I have gotten in to. Normally when we are not drinking our communication is on point and we have a really good marriage, not perfect, but then again no one is perfect that is why we are here on earth. When I drink I don't know when to stop drinking and I don't know when to shut up. I keep arguing and keep fighting.

In January 2015 my mother passed away. This triggered something inside me that I couldn't get a grip on. I drank day in and day out. I didn't know how to stop drinking. It was the only way to deal with the pain I was going through. I went to her funeral hung over. I went to the bar an hour after she passed away. I went to the hospital when she was dying hung over. I was off work for nearly 3 weeks after she passed and I think I was drunk almost the whole time. I couldn't cope with losing my best friend, my mom, my world. After I went back to work drinking was only happening on my weekends, which happen to be Monday and Tuesday. I would also drink on my Friday which was actually Sunday. Sometimes I would find myself drinking on Friday and Saturday as well.

A while back something horrible happened that I won't discuss but just know that it was HORRIBLE. And I thought I would have learned my lesson, but nope. I started drinking again. I know I need to get help. I know I need anger management help as well as alcoholism help. I keep telling myself that if I only drink three or so days out of the seven days of a week then it is not that bad. What makes it bad is when I argue and fight with my husband, when I drink so much I black out and don't remember what happened, when I can't even find the strength to crawl up the stairs to go to bed so I either pass out on the kitchen floor or on the couch. I try to tell myself that had I not had the surgery the amount I drink wouldn't have this much affect on me. Part of that is true, but I also know had I not had the surgery I would drink even more than I do now.
So here I am today to let you know I went to inpatient alcohol treatment on October 7. I was supposed to be there 28 days but my insurance only covered 2 weeks inpatient and then wanted me to do two weeks of intensive outpatient treatment and therapy. So I came home yesterday and have an appt today about the outpatient treatment. My husband and I will be going to AA meetings together and he went each day I was I treatment.
This is real life and I am aware enough to get the treatment I need and become the person I know I can be. If you have had weight loss surgery please be aware of transfer addictions. If you need some groups to belong to I can point you in the right direction.

2 Year Surgaversary

Two years ago I made a decision that would change the rest of my life. I decided to have gastric bypass surgery. That decision has made me more healthy, more vibrant, more full of life, more happy and all around a better person. I have learned how to eat less and eat more healthy foods, but that doesn't mean that I deprive myself of something if I truly want it, unless it involves sugar.

Here are my starting stats:

Right Arm: 17"
Left Arm: 18"

Chest: 59"
Waist: 53.5"

Right Leg: 31"
Left Leg: 32"

Right Calf: 19"
Left Calf: 18.5"

Current Weight: 315
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: 24-26

Here are my current stats:

Right Arm: 12"  5 inches lost
Left Arm: 12"  6 inches lost

Chest: 40"  19 inches lost
Waist:41 "  12.5 inches lost

Right Leg: 23"  8 inches lost
Left Leg: 23"  9 inches lost

Right Calf: 16"  3 inches lost
Left Calf: 16"  2.5 inches lost

Current Weight: 185
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: 12
Total Inches Lost: 65

These past 6 months have been the hardest for me, on a personal level, not a weight loss level. My mom passed away in January. One would think a former fat person would turn to food to cope with that. I didn't. I didn't want anything to do with food. I had to actually force myself to eat. I knew I had to eat to survive. I can honestly say though, I don't think we cooked for like a month after she passed. I didn't feel like doing much of anything. I'm surprised actually that I didn't gain weight. I was eating so little that I thought my body would hold on to any little bit of fat it could, but it didn't. I stayed the same weight.

Before surgery I wasn't an emotional eater, I just didn't know how to control my portions. I would eat two or three large plates of food at almost every meal. I'm still not an emotional eater, and I know how to control my portions. Before surgery we bought a lot of salad plates to eat off of. We knew that if we just put the correct portion on that little plate then we would be successful. And we have been very successful.

I have only had two very minor complications. One was neuropathy from lack of vitamin b and the other has been that my belly button gets angry at me. Because my belly skin folds over my belly button it tends to get red and irritated if it is too warm. I simply just clean it with some medical clense and then put some cortisone on it. The neuropathy went away with some heavy doses of vitamin b and alpha lipoic acid that I took for a few months.

Here are some comparison photos. I haven't taken photos in a very long time because i have been at this same size for a while and I judge my inches lost by how my clothes fit. I have ALOT of loose skin. And I am not going to do anything about it. I love myself and my husband loves me just the way I am so I don't feel the need to change that.

June 27, 2015

June 20, 2013

18 month comparison

December 30, 2014

Top is from June 12, 2013, Bottom is from December 30, 2014

1 year comparison: Top is 12-20-2013, bottom is 12-30-2014

Updated photos are in! This is an 18 month comparison. At my highest weight I was 315lbs. Surgery date June 27, 2013 I weighed 296. Today December 30, 2014 I weigh 180. My goal has always been 160 but I don't know if I will ever get there. I am quite ok with where I am at weight wise. I am a little fed up with some of the loose skin, but I don't think I will ever get rid of that unless I somehow come in to a butt load of money. :)

I look at the photos from June 2013 and I am reminded of  the stay puff marshmallow man. I look so bloated and uncomfortable. Nowadays I feel healthy and amazing. I am always telling my husband that I don't feel as small as some people think I look. When I look at these photos though, I can see what they see. It's an amazing transformation.

Holiday Baking Recipes, Weight Loss Surgery Style

You don't have to use Splenda, you can use any sugar substitute. We have found that Splenda works best for us.

LEMON BARS

INGREDIENTS

1 cup all-purpose flour

2 tablespoons Splenda

1/8 teaspoon salt

8 tablespoons cold butter, cut into 1/2 inch pieces

4 large eggs

1/2 cup half-and-half

1 1/4 cups Splenda

1/3 cup all-purpose flour

1 tablespoon grated fresh lemon peel

1/2 cup fresh lemon juice

DIRECTIONS

1.    Crust Directions: preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly spray an 8-x-8-inch baking pan with vegetable cooking spray; set aside.

2.    Combine flour, Splenda, and salt in food processor bowl; pulse 2 to 3 times. Add butter; pulse until mixture resembles coarse meal. Press mixture into prepared pan; bake 20 minutes or until crust is lightly browned.

3.    Filling Directions: whisk together eggs and half-and-half in a medium bowl; gradually whisk in Splenda and flour. Whisk in lemon peel and lemon juice; pour over hot crust. Bake 15 minutes or until center is set and edges are lightly browned. Cool completely in pan on a wire rack; dust with powdered sugar, if desired. Cut into 2-inch squares.

SUGAR FREE SUGAR COOKIES

INGREDIENTS

1 cup unsalted butter, softened

1 cup Splenda Sugar

2 large eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

Optional Garnishes: decorative candies and colored sugars, sugar free vanilla frosting

DIRECTIONS

1.    Beat butter at medium speed with an electric mixer in a medium mixing bowl until creamy. Gradually add Splenda, beating well. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Stir in vanilla.

2.    Combine flour, baking powder, and salt in a separate mixing bowl. Gradually add flour mixture to Splenda, beating until blended. Do not over-mix.

3.    Place dough on a lightly floured work surface. Divide dough in half; pat each half into a circle and wrap with plastic wrap. Chill cookie dough for one hour or until slightly firm.

4.    Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.

5.    Remove dough from refrigerator. Work with one portion of dough at a time. Roll each portion to 1/8-inch thickness on a lightly floured surface. Cut with a cookie cutter, and place on lightly greased cookie sheets. Sprinkle with decorative candies or colored sugars, if desired.

6.    Bake in preheated oven 8 to 10 minutes or until edges of cookies are lightly browned. Cool slightly on cookie sheets; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

CLOSE TO SUGAR FREE CUSTARD PIE

INGREDIENTS

1 (9 inch) unbaked pie crust

3 eggs, beaten

¾ cup Splenda

¼ teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 egg white

2 ½ cups scalded milk

¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg

DIRECTIONS

1.    Preheat oven to 400 degrees F

2.    Mix together eggs, Splenda, salt and vanilla. Blend in the scalded milk.

3.    Line pie pan with pastry, and brush inside bottom and sides of shell with egg white to help prevent a soggy crust. Pour custard mixture into pie crust. Sprinkle with nutmeg

4.    Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until a knife inserted near center comes out clean. Cool on rack.

CLOSE TO SUGAR FREE PUMPKIN CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

Ingredients

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup Splenda
1 cup Splenda brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup canned pumpkin puree
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
2 cups (12-ounce bag) Sugar Free Chocolate Chips
Nonstick cooking spray or parchment paper

1. Heat the oven to 350 degrees F. Spray cookie sheets with nonstick spray or line them with parchment paper.
2. 
   
3. Using a mixer, beat the butter until smooth. Beat in the white and brown sugars, a little at a time, until the mixture is light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs 1 at a time, then mix in the vanilla and pumpkin puree.
4. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and cloves.
5. Slowly beat the flour mixture into the batter in thirds. Stir in the chips.
6. Scoop the cookie dough by heaping tablespoons onto the prepared cookie sheets and bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until the cookies are browned around the edges.
7. Remove the cookie sheets from the oven and let them rest for 2 minutes. Take the cookies off with a spatula and cool them on wire racks.

CLOSE TO SUGAR FREE CRANBERRY ORANGE MUFFINS

INGREDIENTS

1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 cup butter

1/4 cup Splenda

3/4 teaspoon orange zest

1 large egg

1/3 cup vanilla nonfat yogurt

1/2 cup chopped fresh cranberries

DIRECTIONS

1.    PREHEAT oven to 375 degrees F. Line 6 muffin cups with paper liners or spray with nonstick spray.

2.    MIX together flour, baking powder and baking soda. Set aside.

3.    BEAT butter at medium speed with an electric mixer until creamy. Gradually add Splenda and orange zest beating until light and fluffy. Add egg and beat.

4.    STIR in vanilla yogurt. Gradually stir in flour mixture until just combined.

5.    FOLD in cranberries. Spoon batter evenly into muffin cups.

6.    BAKE 15-20 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove from pan, cool on wire rack.

CLOSE TO SUGAR FREE PUMPKIN CHEESECAKE

INGREDIENTS

• CRUST:
• 1 cup graham cracker crumbs
• 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
• 1/4 cup SPLENDA^® No Calorie Sweetener, Granulated
• 1/3 cup light butter, melted

FILLING: 

• 3 (8 ounce) packages fat free cream cheese
• 2 (8 ounce) packages reduced fat cream cheese
• 1 1/2 cups Splenda
• 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
• 3/4 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1 pinch ground cloves
• 1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
• 1/4 cup fat free half-and-half
• 1/2 cup egg beaters
• 1 tablespoon vanilla
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TOPPING:

• 2 cups reduced-fat sour cream
• 1/2 cup Splenda
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 drops maple flavor

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray a 9-inch springform pan with baking spray. Set aside.
2. Mix crust ingredients together and firmly press onto bottom of prepared springform pan. Bake 12-15 minutes or until lightly browned and firm. Cool.
3. Blend together cream cheese, Splenda, flour and spices on medium speed in an electric mixer until cream cheese is smooth and lump free. Scrape sides of bowl. Add pumpkin. Mix on medium speed until well blended. Scrape sides of bowl and mix until mixture is smooth and lump-free.
4. Turn mixer on low and slowly add half-and-half, Egg Beaters^® and vanilla. Blend until well mixed.
5. Pour over prepared crust. Bake in preheated 350 degrees F oven 50-60 minutes or until center is slightly firm. Remove from oven and cool.
6. Prepare topping. Blend all ingredients together in a small bowl until well mixed. Pour on top of cheesecake and spread evenly. Return to oven and bake for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and cool 20-25 minutes on a wire rack. Chill 4- 6 hours or overnight in the refrigerator. This, like all cheesecakes, is best if prepared a day in advance.