The Journey Of Life

I embarked on a journey of totally changing myself last year. This journey is continuing everyday. I had surgery on June 27, 2013. I started the surgery process in September of 2012. So I guess technically this journey has been going on for well over a year. I had made a choice to change the person I was, both in my personal life as well as my professional life. As with most good things in life, you have to wait your time for them. I am not a patient person so anything I have to wait for is really hard for me. Thankfully I have had people in my life reassuring me that being patient will pay off. And it truly has paid off. 

Personally: I have lost 76.5", 124 lbs and have gone from a size 26/28 to a size 14. My husband and I have gotten stronger in our marriage through some trials we have gone through. I have had to learn how find my voice and stick up for myself. 

Professionally: I have been working on my Bachelor degree in Health Informatics. I have 7 classes left. I have been trying to find a job where I can use my AA degree which is in Health Information and I finally found one. I have also had to find my voice in my professional life and stick up for myself.

In regards to my weight loss journey, there are days that I absolutely hate it. I hate that I have to think about food more now than I have ever had to. Some days I hate that I can't finish a meal that is put in front of me. Some days I hate that I can't eat whatever I want. There are days though, more often than not, that I absolutely love this tool that I was given. I love the fact that I have lost as much as I have and that I still have more to lose and that I will be smaller than I have ever been. I love that I can budget less for food since we don't eat as much as we used to. I love that I feel and look better than I ever have. I have learned how to choose substitutes for the things I absolutely want. I have found an amazing no sugar added cheesecake, some yummy sugar free chocolates and sugar free cookies. I know my limits and I don't go over them. One day last week a coworker had some skittles. I haven't had skittles in well over a year or more. I asked if I could have one. She laughed at me and said yes but aren't you going to crave them more if you have just one. I told her I just wanted one to have the taste of it and then I would be ok. I did eat just the one and I was ok. I would never eat more than one because I know I would be absolutely sick.

Yesterday was a very hard day. The group I was with went out to lunch and they ordered dessert after the meal. They ordered these 3 different cookies with ice cream on top. I was almost in tears. It was so very hard to sit there and watch them eat it. But I persevered and made it through. They were really good about it telling me how great I look now and telling me to remember how far I had come. Once I left the group I went in to the mall and walked past Cinnabon. That was one of the hardest things to do, just walk past. I so totally wished I could walk up to the counter and order a Cinnabon. Even writing about it now is so hard. I just want to be "normal" again. By normal I mean be able to eat whatever I want. But not really. If I were "normal" again I would be as big as  I was before. I never want to be that big again and I never will be. I just need to take it one day at a time, and even sometimes one moment at a time as I did yesterday. I am proud of myself for not giving in. I know if I had given in I would have been so sick. 

 
Here are my latest measurements. I haven't taken photos in a very long time. I think this week I will take some and show the difference between when I started and where I am now. I still have about 50 to 55 pounds to lose. I love when people look at me and ask "where are those last 50 pounds going to come from?" I know I have about 10 to 15 pounds in loose skin that needs to be removed,and probably more by the time I am done with all of this.
 
Right Arm: 12"  (I stayed the same)(I have lost 5")
Left Arm: 11.5"  (I have lost 5.5")

Right Leg: 21"  (I stayed the same)(I have lost 10")
Left Leg: 21"    (I have lost 11")

Right Calf: 14"  (I have lost 5")
Left Calf: 13.5" (I have lost 5")

Chest: 41.5"      (I have lost 18.5")
Waist: 37"     (I stayed the same)(I have lost 16.5")

Current Weight: 191 lbs   (I have lost 124 lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: top is 14/16 and bottom is 14
Total inches lost:  76.5