Updates

I am so excited this morning, for a lot of reasons. First is that I am down to 276. I had been at a stall of 278 for about 3 or 4 days and I didn't think the scale would be moving any time soon. I had hit the dreaded 3 week stall. Thank goodness it only lasted those few days. With being at 276 that means I am only 1 pound away from a first goal of mine.

One of my first goals in losing weight was to get to 275 so I could go on the zip line and ropes course at the Point Defiance Zoo here in Tacoma. While I was at the zoo the last time on June 20, 2013 I saw that the weight limit was 275. I was bummed because I was at 290 something. I didn't think I would be able to lose nearly 25 pounds in order to get to 275. Well here I am!!!!

I have been walking on the treadmill everyday for the past 5 days or so.  I have only been walking for 15 minutes, but that gives me a half mile each day. I think next week I will bump it up to 30 minutes each day. I have been getting up in the morning and getting on the treadmill before I do anything that day. I find that it's easier to get it done and over with then I can do what I want during the day. 

I start back to work next week. I have been off work for 3 1/2 weeks now. On one hand I feel ready to go back because I am bored out of my mind. On the other hand I am nervous to go back because of a lot of reasons. I don't want to get sick from eating something new during the day and have to go home. To prevent this I am going to only be eating things I know I don't have a problem with so I won't get sick during the day. Another thing I am nervous about is that people are going to look at me like I haven't lost enough in these 3 weeks. I mean I really shouldn't care what they think, but deep down inside I think I do care just a little bit! I'm also nervous about people scrutinizing everything I eat or do. I am a grown woman and I know what I can and can't eat. I know how much I can eat and I know what I need to be doing to lose weight. 

I had a bittersweet moment the other day. I started getting all my clothes ready to go back to work next week so I was trying them on. Some of the clothes that I bought back in December are not fitting anymore. I swim in them. I had some beautiful tops that now I can't wear because they look like a sack on me. My wonderful work pants that I love, that used to fit just right, are now loose and I can pull them off and on without unbuttoning or unzipping them. I say this moment was bittersweet because I was happy I was losing clothing sizes but sad because I don't have a lot of clothes to fit me in this transition period. I was laughing and crying and my husband was really confused. Another reason I was sad was because my "wall of fat" is dwindling away and I can no longer hide behind that. I now have to be the woman that I know I can be and have the confidence to stand up without that wall holding me up. 

Yesterday I had a pretty bad dumping episode. I just wanted to die! But it passed and I am doing better now. While I was in my episode I told my husband that I would shoot the person who says this is the easy way out. By no means is this easy. Do you think your heart racing, head spinning, butt exploding, stomach turning is an easy way to be? Do you think having to watch every little thing going in to you and reading every single label for your food is an easy thing to do? Do you think being cut open and having your plumbing rerouted is an easy thing to do? Do you think all the tears, heartache, pain, sorrow, etc is an easy thing to go through? I say no, none of this easy. By all means, there is worse a person can go through, but this has been a hard road. I came across a really great article written by a bariatric surgeon. Here it is:  Surgery Is Not The Easy Way Out