Head Hunger/Cravings

I belong to several gastric bypass support groups on facebook. Today someone who is pre-op asked about head hunger and cravings. This got me thinking about those two topics. Here are my thoughts on them:

There are times, especially close to that time of the month, where I crave certain things. I know without a doubt that if I were to give in to the sweet cravings and have that cupcake that I used to have before surgery I would get sick. Instead of having the cupcake full of sugar, I find a way to have something that is sugar free. For instance today I made sugar free cookies with sugar free frosting. They were pretty good, but alot sweeter than regular sugar cookies are.

I had also been craving something fried. So I went to McDonalds. Before surgery I would have had two cheeseburgers, a large fry, a large sweet tea, a mcchicken, a 6 piece nugget and an extra cheeseburger. I would eat all of that in one sitting. Today when I went to McDonald's I had a 4 piece chicken nugget Happy meal. It came with the 4 chicken nuggets and a kids size fry. I shared 1 of my chicken nuggets with my dogs, so I ate 3 and I shared some of my fries with the dogs so I didn't eat all the kids size fry. I would have to say that is a drastic difference!!! My head totally wanted to get the extra stuff, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to eat it and the only reason I had thought about getting it was because it had become habit from before.

I truly have not gone out and had the donuts and cupcakes and sweets that I used to eat before surgery. Sure I do crave them quite a bit, but I haven't done it because I knew I would be sick. I used to have a ritual of getting a Starbucks drink every pay day. I have only had Starbucks a few times since surgery. There isn't a lot at Starbucks that I can drink that doesn't have sugar. My husband and I used to have a ritual of going and getting donuts every couple of weeks. There is an amazing donut place just down the road from us. I have found myself driving there before and then realizing I can't go there so I turn and go the other way.

I have found some really great recipes online that help me get my cravings out of the way with stuff that I can eat. I made some really yummy lemon bars for Christmas that were sugar free. I found that Walmart carries sugar free chocolate chips that make amazing sugar free chocolate chip cookies!

So here is what I have to say about head hunger and cravings. If you can find a way to make what you are craving in a way that won't make you sick, go for it. If you have to have something you are craving that may not be the best for you such as fatty foods, have just a bite or two of it. I have found that since surgery my taste buds have changed and what I crave may not taste the same now as it did before surgery. 

6 Month Update/Newest Measurements

It is hard to believe that tomorrow, December 12, 2013 will be 6 months from the day I had my gastric bypass surgery. Life is so much better these days. I am down 105 pounds. That is amazing! I am down from a size 26/28 to a 14/16. I couldn't even imagine having that extra 105 pounds on me again. When I started to get to the 90 pound lost point my weight loss started to slow down. I have 70 to go until my goal. I know they won't come off as fast as the first 100, but if I continue to work hard at it, it will eventually come off. This is a journey. Like the name of my blog says "You didn't get fat overnight," so I know I won't get thin overnight. People around me remind me on a daily basis just how far I have come. Some days I am brutally hard on myself for the things I eat, but other days I am easy on myself. 

I am so thankful for my husband, my mom and dad, and my friends that have helped me get to this point. They have all had a part in me getting here. They have believed in me, lifted me when I feel low, gave me high fives when I feel high, they have been a great support!

I am amazed at the photos I have taken along the way. In the ones from the beginning I barely recognize myself. The newest photos make me smile. :) 

Here are my newest measurements. Last ones were taken 28 days ago.

Right Arm: 12"   (I have lost 5")
Left Arm: 12"    (I have lost 5")

Right Leg: 21"  (I have lost 10")
Left Leg: 21.5" (I have lost 10.5")

Right Calf: 16"  (I stayed the same)(I have lost 3")
Left Calf: 15.5"  (I stayed the same)(I have lost 3")

Chest: 43"      (I have lost 17")
Waist: 40"      (I stayed the same)(I have lost 13.5")

Current Weight: 210lbs   (I have lost 105 lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: top is 14/16 and bottom is 16
Total inches lost:  67

Top photos from 12-11-13, bottom photos from 06-20-13

 

23 Day Challenge

So as of tomorrow there are 23 days until the 1st of the year. When I weighed in today I was 211. It is my goal to be in ONDERLAND on the 1st of the year. That means I have to lose 12 pounds in 23 days. That is about a pound every other day. I think it's doable, but not quite sure.

I plan on drinking a protein shake for breakfast and lunch and eating a sensible dinner. I plan on working out my 3 days a week. I hope that with these two things I can accomplish this. I will try to eat snacks high in protein in between meals, like nuts or beef jerky.

I really really really want to be in ONDERLAND soon. I haven't been under 200 pounds since I was in high school. I graduated high school in 1998 so that was 15 years ago!

I am making this public so people who are around me can help hold me accountable. There are two instances where I will be eating lunch instead of a dinner. We are having a pot luck at work on the 20th and I will be having my shake that day for breakfast and again for dinner. On the 14th I am meeting up with a dear friend for lunch so that day I will be having a shake for breakfast and one for dinner.

Let the challenge begin!!!!!!

Thankful on Thanksgiving

Today marks 22 weeks from my surgery day. My highest weight was 315. My surgery day weight was 292. My weight today is 215. That's a total loss of 100 pounds total. I am so thankful for my journey. Thankful for my surgeon who gave me a new lease on life. Thankful for this tool to help me lose this 100 pounds and feel the best I have ever felt. 

This photo shows the comparison in my body from beginning to now. The left photo was on June 20, 2013 which was a week before surgery. The photo on the right is from today November 28, 2013. 

I am going to go indoor skydiving at IFly in Tukwila to celebrate losing 100 pounds. I'm not sure when I will be doing it, but probably in the month of December. I am so excited. 

My next goal is to get under 200 pounds. I want to be in "Onderland" soon. I know it will happen. This journey is hard but worth it. There are some days that I eat and feel nauseous afterwards and just wish I could eat normal again without feeling that way. But I think of the healthy rewards for losing this weight and I know I am doing the right thing. 

Newest Measurements

Here are my newest measurements. Last ones were taken 14 days ago.

Right Arm: 13" (I stayed the same) (I have lost 4")
Left Arm: 12.5"    (I have lost 4.5")

Right Leg: 22" (I stayed the same) (I have lost 9")
Left Leg: 22.5" (I stayed the same) (I have lost 9.5")

Right Calf: 16"  (I have lost 3")
Left Calf: 15.5"  (I have lost 3")

Chest: 45.5"      (I have lost 14.5")
Waist: 40"      (I have lost 13.5")

Current Weight: 221lbs   (I have lost 94 lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: top is 14/16 and bottom is 16
Total inches lost:  61

Newest Measurements

Here are my newest measurements. Last ones were taken 15 days ago. It is so true that when you don't feel like you are losing weight, take your measurements because you are probably losing inches. Every time I feel like I am stalling with my weight loss I take my measurements and I have lost some in my measurements. I feel so amazing that I have lost 13" in my chest and 10.5" in my waist. Once i start strength training maybe I will lose more and firm up those muscles to take away some of that flabby skin.

Right Arm: 13"  (I have lost 4")
Left Arm: 13"    (I have lost 4")

Right Leg: 22" (I have lost 9")
Left Leg: 22.5" (I have lost 9.5")

Right Calf: 16.5" (I stayed the same)  (I have lost 2.5")
Left Calf: 16"    (I stayed the same) (I have lost 2.5")

Chest: 46"      (I have lost 13")
Waist: 43"      (I have lost 10.5")

Current Weight: 225lbs   (I have lost 90 lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: top is 14/16 and bottom is 18/20
Total inches lost:  55

BLAH, BAH HUMBUG, CONGRATS....

So this past weekend I was feeling really down about losing weight. I had been stalled for a week or so. I was feeling pretty ugly and fat. I was really bloated because I was on my period. I knew this too shall pass. I was scared to get on the scale this morning because I was afraid it wouldn't have moved. Well when I stepped on the scale it said 224. I was like WHAT THE HECK!!! I had been stalled at 228. That was a 4 pound loss. I was pretty stoked. 

When I got home I looked on one of my support groups and one of the ladies posted a photo of her in some pants she used to wear. She was able to step both legs in to one side of the pants. This gave me an idea to try it with a pair of my pants. So I did. And it worked!!!! These pants are the pants that I wear on a regular basis because I am too cheap to buy a new pair of pants that I will grow, or rather shrink, out of in a few weeks.

The other thing I am fighting with is that I am one size in one brand, and a bigger size in another brand. Like for instance at Old Navy I am a Large, but some other companies I am a XL. These pants in the photo are a size 20, but I have some other size 20's that fit just right. I never ran in to that when I was big. When I was my biggest I wore a 26/28, or a 3X. I knew that no matter where I went I would be those sizes. 

I have figured out what I am going to do for my 100 pound party and my goal party. For my 100 pound party I am going to go indoor skydiving and out to dinner with my hubby. For my goal party I am going to go cage diving with the sharks at the local zoo here in Tacoma. I am so stoked. I only have 9 pounds to go til my 100 pound party.

Update on the Husband

Charlie had surgery on July 11, 2013, which was 2 weeks after me. His starting weight was 408 and today he is down to 321. Here is a comparison photo:

Left is today, October 26, 2013. Right is December 2012.

 I am so proud of how far he has come and how much he has lost! Way to go Charlie!!!!!!

4 Months, 1 week

Tomorrow marks my 4 month, 1 week Surgiversary. I have lost 87 pounds from my highest weight of 315. Here are some photos to celebrate! I looked at my husband after seeing the photos and I proclaimed "I LOVE MY SAGGING SKIN" I still have a ways to go, but at least I am plugging away at it!

Left photo is a week before surgery, Right photo is today

Left photo was a week before surgery, Right photo is today

Newest Measurements

Here are my newest measurements. Last ones were taken a week ago.

Right Arm: 13.5"  (I stayed the same) (I have lost 3.5")
Left Arm: 13.5"    (I stayed the same) (I have lost 3.5")

Right Leg: 23.5" (I have lost 7.5")
Left Leg: 23.5" (I have lost 8.5")

Right Calf: 16.5" (I stayed the same)  (I have lost 2.5")
Left Calf: 16"    (I stayed the same) (I have lost 2.5")

Chest: 47"      (I stayed the same) (I have lost 12")
Waist: 44"     (I stayed the same) (I have lost 9.5")

Current Weight: 230lbs   (I have lost 85 lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: top is 16 and bottom is 18/20
Total inches lost:  49.5

Thoughts

Lately my thoughts have been all over the place. I am so happy that I made the choice to have gastric bypass surgery. Some days it doesn't seem like I even had it done and I am just losing weight by eating smaller portions and working out. Then there are some days that what I eat makes me nauseous and I feel like a bloated cow so then I wonder what am I doing.

Today I weighed in at 233. My highest ever recorded weight was 315. My weight the day of surgery was 292. That is a total loss of 82 pounds. I have 18 to go before I have lost 100 pounds. I am so shocked and amazed at how it has come off like melted butter on a cob of corn. I still have 93 pounds to lose to get to my goal weight. If these first 82 have come off in 5 months, I predict that by my year surgiversary I will be at goal. That would be such a great accomplishment.

The past few weeks I have not been able to work out so my weight loss has been really slow. I had hemorrhoid surgery. That pain was way worse than the gastric bypass pain. For the first 3 days I lived on percocets and really hot baths every 3 hours. I am finally starting to feel normal again. I will start to work out again this coming week. i have actually missed it. The hemorrhoids were a product of having diarrhea after gastric bypass surgery. At first I thought I only had one but come to find out the doctor took two out. I shouldn't have any more hemorrhoid problems for a while. 

I have not been a really good patient as far as getting all the needed protein or liquid in. I think I may get 60 grams of protein a day, if that. And I know I don't get more than 40 ounces of liquid in each day. When i am at work I don't usually take the time to think about taking drinks of water. I have patients who come in and out of my office all day and I don't drink out of my water bottle when they are sitting in my office. Then by the time I think about it, it's time to eat lunch or dinner and I can't drink while eating, or for even 30 minutes after. 

I had my 3 month follow up last week. Doctor said everything seemed to be going good. He drew my labs and everything was perfect. My neuropathy seems to have subsided to the point where I don't notice it every day. Once in a while I will feel it, but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. My vitamin B12 level was nearly 3 times what the high normal should be. I thought that was kind of funny. I have been on such a high dose to help get rid of the neuropathy. The doctor said I don't need to take nearly as much anymore.

I have a few goals that I want to achieve. I want to hike to Mt Timpanogos Caves, which is in Utah. I want to make goal weight by my year surgiversary. I want to either cage dive with the sharks at my local zoo or learn to scuba dive and get certified and scuba dive with the sharks at my local zoo. I want to actually run a 5k instead of just walk it. I want to be able to shop at Victoria Secret. I want to be a size 8 or smaller. I want to eventually be rid of the CPAP machine I have to use every night.

Newest Measurements

Here are my newest measurements. Last ones were taken about a month ago!!!

Right Arm: 13.5"  (I gained a half inch) (I have lost 3.5")
Left Arm: 13.5"    (I gained a half inch) (I have lost 3.5")

Right Leg: 27" (I gained an inch)  (I have lost 4")
Left Leg: 26" (I have lost 6")

Right Calf: 16.5"   (I have lost 2.5")
Left Calf: 16"    (I have lost 2.5")

Chest: 47"      (I have lost 12")
Waist: 44"      (I have lost 9.5")

Current Weight: 236lbs   (I have lost 79 lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: top is 16 and bottom is 18/20
Total inches lost:  43

THE COLOR RUN

So before I had my gastric bypass surgery I signed up for The Color Run Tacoma. It's a 5K walk/run where they throw all sorts of color on you. I thought oh I can do that, no problem. I knew it would be happening 3 months after my surgery. Well, today was the day.



                          I COMPLETED MY FIRST 5K EVER!!!

 

I am so proud of myself for sticking it out to the end. My feet were really hurting at about the halfway point when we had to walk down a steep hill. The walking up hills was fine but the pressure on my feet going downhill was horrendous!

3 Months

Today is my 3 month surgiversary. It's hard to believe that it has been 3 months. To date I have lost 72 pounds from my highest weight. I am amazed when I look at my side by side photos at how much fat my body has lost. I carried a lot of my weight in my back and butt area. 

Here is a photo of me from June 20, 2013 and today which is September 19, 2013.

I am feeling pretty good health wise. I do still suffer from some Neuropathy in my feet. But the Neuropathy is getting better. I don't get nauseous after eating anymore like I did for a long time. I have cut out a lot of stuff that I know will make me nauseous. 

My highest weight was 315.
My surgery weight was 292.
My current weight is 243.
My goal weight is 140.
That's a 72 pound loss. 
I have 103 to lose to get to goal.

 

New Weekly Measurements

Newest Measurements

Here are my newest measurements. Last ones were taken 6 days ago!!!

Right Arm: 13"  (I didn't gain or lose in the past few weeks) (I have lost 4")
Left Arm: 13"    (I didn't gain or lose in the week) (I have lost 4")

Right Leg: 24"   (I have lost 7")
Left Leg: 25 1/2"  (I have lost 6 1/2")

Right Calf: 16 1/2" (I have lost 2 1/2")
Left Calf: 16"  (I didn't gain or lose in the past week)(I have lost 2 1/2")

Chest: 48"      (I have lost 11")
Waist: 45"      (I have lost 8 1/2")

Current Weight: 248lbs   (I have lost 67 lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: top is 18/20, sometimes a 14/16 and bottom is 22/24, sometimes an 18/20
Total inches lost:  46

Body Image

As I travel along this journey of weight loss, my body image is one thing that has been hard for me to grasp. I know my body is slimming down. I know my size of clothes is going down. But in my mind, it's hard to grasp the fact that I am getting smaller. I still do some of the same stuff when it comes to my clothes and the way I look.

I belonged to a couple of groups on facebook where I could buy used clothing at a decent price. I started buying stuff that I knew I would be able to wear in a few weeks, such as size 16 clothes. I received two packages in the mail today. In one package there were a couple of tops that were size 14/16 and a skirt that is size 16. I know I won't be able to wear the skirt for a while because I am still around a 22 in my pant size.

I tried on the tops that were 14/16 and to my amazement they fit. Well, my husband had to tell me that they fit. In my mind I am still this big fat girl who has to wear baggy clothes to cover my body. It's hard for me to realize I can wear clothes that fit and aren't baggy and still be ok. I kept trying to pull the tops down to cover my belly. I also kept trying to pull the tops out away from my body. My husband had to keep telling me to stop pulling the tops out because I was going to stretch them out. Stretching the tops is what I used to do. 

While my body is changing my mind is having a hard time catching up. Here is a photo of me in one of the tops I got in the mail tonight. Yes it is a size 14/16. I think I need to invest in a Spanx top that can help my sagging skin that I am starting to get that causes me to have a bit of a muffin top.

 I started this journey at a size 26/28 both in top and bottoms. Currently I am a size anywhere from 14/16 to 18/20 in my top and size 20 or 22 in my bottoms. 

I am signing off to go to the gym to try to get more weight off! LOL

Newest Measurements

Here are my newest measurements. Last ones were taken 13 days ago!!!

Right Arm: 13"  (I didn't gain or lose in the past few weeks) (I have lost 4")
Left Arm: 13"     (I have lost 4")

Right Leg: 26"   (I have lost 5")
Left Leg: 26.5" (I have gained a half inch in the last week) (I have lost 5 1/2")

Right Calf: 17"   (I did not gain or lose in the past few weeks)  (I have lost 2")
Left Calf: 16"    (I have lost 2 1/2")

Chest: 49"      (I have lost 10")
Waist: 47"      (I have lost 6 1/2")

Current Weight: 249lbs   (I have lost 66 lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: top is 18/20 and bottom is 22/24
Total inches lost:  39 1/2

Plateaus

 
THOSE WONDERFUL PLATEAUS

Consider how difficult it is for you to run up ten flights of stairs
all in one shot. Can you do it? I'm betting NOT unless you are a
top-notch-conditioned Olympian, right?

Now, of course, you could EVENTUALLY get up those ten flights of stairs if you rested on the landings periodically to catch your breath and pause for a moment before your heart explodes. You’d get up those stairs - but only if you rested on the landings or PLATEAUS.

Well, running up ten flights of stairs in one shot is what we are
asking our body to do after WLS in the way we want the body to lose a massive amount of weight. As our body loses weight so rapidly, it occasionally has to "rest on the landings" to catch its breath, get its bearings, take a breather.

Then once it feels rested, it takes another shot at dropping the pounds again. It's remarkable that the body can drop so much weight so quickly anyway after surgery. But it can't do it all in one long shot like running up ten flights of stairs in one long shot. It has to rest on the landings or PLATEAUS.

Keep this analogy in mind when you hit those plateaus. PLURAL.
PLATEAUS. No such thing as ONE. You’ll have many along your journey. When those plateaus hit, you still must do what you need to do. DON'T stop the good nutrition, the vitamins, the exercise. Keep those routines going. And once your body is done "resting" in between the flights of stairs, it will kick in gear again for the next flight or two. And the more pounds that are dropped, the slower the pounds will drop too. So you will not lose rapidly during that last stretch of 25-30 pounds. It’s like an athlete who gives his all during the race, sees the finish line in sight, and does all he/she can to finish. The muscles ache, the heart is about to burst. but the athlete DOES finish the marathon. Some athletes "walk" across the finish line. But the point is
they FINISHED.>>

Neuropathy

Well I have officially had my first complication from the gastric bypass surgery. It's nobody's fault but my own. When the nutritionist says take your recommended vitamins, DO IT! I was vigilent in the beginning about taking my vitamins, then I just started forgetting.

Forgetting to take my vitamins has led me to getting Vitamin Deficient Neuropathy. If you aren't familiar with Neuropathy, it's a nerve condition of the extremities. It happens a lot in diabetics. It causes pain, tingling, numbness. For me it has settled in my toes. I have a burning pain in my toes that is so excruciating it keeps me up at night.

At first the pain only happened at night, then it started happening during the day. At first it was just pain, but then the burning started. It feels like someone is blowing a hair dryer on high on my toes. It drives me crazy!!!

I saw my PCP today and she said that because of me not taking my vitamins on a regular basis that I have Vitamin B12 Deficient Neuropathy.  She told me I need to start taking 5,000mcg of Vitamin B12 a day, 100mg of B Complex a day and 300mg of Alpha Lipoic Acid twice a day. Hopefully in a few weeks with taking these vitamins every day the pain will start to subside. My PCP doesn't think I will have any permanent damage, which is a blessing. 

Tonight I took my first dose of the Alpha Lipoic Acid. I had to open the capsules and put them in a smoothie to be able to take them. But the felt like they were burning my mouth. I am going to try to take them whole so I don't get the burning in my mouth. 

Newest Weekly Measurements

Newest Measurements

Here are my newest measurements. Last ones were taken a week ago!!!

Right Arm: 13"   (I have lost 4")
Left Arm: 13.5"   (No change in the last week)  (I have lost 4 1/2")

Right Leg: 27.5"   (I have gained a half inch in the last week)  (I have lost 4")
Left Leg: 26.5"     (I have gained a half inch in the last week)  (I have lost 6")

Right Calf: 17"         (I have lost 2")
Left Calf: 16"    (I have lost 2")

Chest: 49 1/2"         (I have lost 9 1/2")
Waist: 47 1/2"              (I have lost 6")

Current Weight: 254lbs   (I have lost 61 lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: top is 18/20 and bottom is 22/24

Newest Measurements

Here are my newest measurements.

Right Arm: 13.5"   (I have lost 3 1/2")
Left Arm: 13.5"     (I have lost 4 1/2")

Right Leg: 27"         (I have lost 4")
Left Leg: 26"           (I have lost 6")

Right Calf: 17 1/2"         (I have lost 1 1/2")
Left Calf: 17"     (I have lost 1 1/2")

Chest: 50"         (I have lost 9")
Waist: 49 1/2"              (I have lost 4")

Current Weight: 263lbs   (I have lost 48lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: 22-24 

First Goal

So I recently made it to my first goal, 275 pounds. With this first goal I wanted to go zip lining at my local zoo. So today we went with some friends. I didn't realize the ropes course that went along with the zip line would be as mentally challenging as it was for me.

I did the practice course just fine. Of course it was only like 5 feet off the ground. 

 And then I did the wall climb and the first wooden slatted bridge.

But when it came to going any further, I had a mental breakdown. My arms were hurting, I was scared I was going to fall. I couldn't make that first step for a very long time. Once I was on the first log I completely freaked out. 

 You have to repel down if you get stuck on one of the courses, and then your time is over. 

At least I made a goal and stuck to it. I may have not made it through the ropes course but I am proud of myself for how far I did come. 

 

 

Measurements

II didn't see much movement in my measurements over the past 16 days but I decided to document it anyway. So here it is.

Right Arm: 14"   (I have lost 3")
Left Arm: 14"     (I have lost 4")

Right Leg: 29"         (I have lost 2")
Left Leg: 28 1/2"           (I have lost 3 1/2")

Right Calf: 18"         (I have lost 1")
Left Calf: 17 1/2"     (I have lost 1")

Chest: 53"         (I have lost 6")
Waist: 51"              (I have lost 2 1/2")

Current Weight: 271lbs   (I have lost 40lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: 22-24 

Feelings

Yesterday I went and spoiled myself and got my hair done. It felt good to be pampered a little. I am totally in love with the way my hair looks now. Sassy and cute!

When I got home I had a little bit of a meltdown, but a good meltdown. I realized that I am starting to look pretty and my face is getting thin. I took a few photos of myself to show my mom my new hair and I fell in love with myself all over again. I realized how for the past I don't know how many years I have not had confidence in myself, I didn't love myself. I hid behind the fat. I thought I was confident but I wasn't. I thought I was cute, but in reality I didn't believe it. 

I took so many photos of myself last night! I cried because I felt so pretty and I felt confident in who I am. This made me realize that in my professional life I may be able to go further because I believe in myself and I am not trying to hide behind my fat. That means worlds to me. 

This surgery has certainly saved my life. I am forever indebted to my surgeon for giving me this second chance at life!

This morning I was putting some clothes on to go out and get something. Charlie said that I was looking good and you could really see the weight loss from the side. He said that I would end up leaving him because I was pretty and becoming thin. I asked him why he would say a thing like that. He said that I would want to move on once I lost my weight. I told him that at some point he is going to be thin, but he is already handsome to me so there is no reason I would leave. I asked if he was serious and he said half and half. This made me sad!

I asked a lady who has had the surgery with her husband if they ever had these feelings. What she said made me cry because it was so beautiful. Here is what she said:
 " We have only joked around! My husband and I both love The Lord and our marriage is a fun, exciting, blessed, and worked-at marriage! We have our faults and have worked through so many! I know that there are much more beautiful women out there than I but this experience has been a shared one and no one can take that from us! I put my hope in Jesus and I pray for our marriage! So, yes as a woman I have often thought what if he leaves because he feels so good about himself that he feels he can do better---but I thought that when I was fatter too---it's just the chick in us! Know this---you have to be his biggest fan! You have to tell him everyday how proud you are of him and how handsome he is---he has to hear it! I would spend all of the energy that you could be worrying on praising him! It's hard to imagine life without him but I have learned one thing and that is---we both deserve the best and to be loved, ADORED, and treated well! I know you may feel sad today but it will pass! He is just feeling jealous because you are getting prettier everyday and knows that heads are turning and will continue to! That's when you reach over in public and SMOOCH HIS FACE OFF! Lol I am so excited for you two! It's gonna be a great life! Enjoy it together! Also, read the book The Emotional First Aid Kit it has a section on this very thing! Love ya girl!"

This lady is such an inspiration. Her and her husband have a solid marriage. They may have their struggles but they put their faith in the Lord and through him all things are possible!

Updates

I am so excited this morning, for a lot of reasons. First is that I am down to 276. I had been at a stall of 278 for about 3 or 4 days and I didn't think the scale would be moving any time soon. I had hit the dreaded 3 week stall. Thank goodness it only lasted those few days. With being at 276 that means I am only 1 pound away from a first goal of mine.

One of my first goals in losing weight was to get to 275 so I could go on the zip line and ropes course at the Point Defiance Zoo here in Tacoma. While I was at the zoo the last time on June 20, 2013 I saw that the weight limit was 275. I was bummed because I was at 290 something. I didn't think I would be able to lose nearly 25 pounds in order to get to 275. Well here I am!!!!

I have been walking on the treadmill everyday for the past 5 days or so.  I have only been walking for 15 minutes, but that gives me a half mile each day. I think next week I will bump it up to 30 minutes each day. I have been getting up in the morning and getting on the treadmill before I do anything that day. I find that it's easier to get it done and over with then I can do what I want during the day. 

I start back to work next week. I have been off work for 3 1/2 weeks now. On one hand I feel ready to go back because I am bored out of my mind. On the other hand I am nervous to go back because of a lot of reasons. I don't want to get sick from eating something new during the day and have to go home. To prevent this I am going to only be eating things I know I don't have a problem with so I won't get sick during the day. Another thing I am nervous about is that people are going to look at me like I haven't lost enough in these 3 weeks. I mean I really shouldn't care what they think, but deep down inside I think I do care just a little bit! I'm also nervous about people scrutinizing everything I eat or do. I am a grown woman and I know what I can and can't eat. I know how much I can eat and I know what I need to be doing to lose weight. 

I had a bittersweet moment the other day. I started getting all my clothes ready to go back to work next week so I was trying them on. Some of the clothes that I bought back in December are not fitting anymore. I swim in them. I had some beautiful tops that now I can't wear because they look like a sack on me. My wonderful work pants that I love, that used to fit just right, are now loose and I can pull them off and on without unbuttoning or unzipping them. I say this moment was bittersweet because I was happy I was losing clothing sizes but sad because I don't have a lot of clothes to fit me in this transition period. I was laughing and crying and my husband was really confused. Another reason I was sad was because my "wall of fat" is dwindling away and I can no longer hide behind that. I now have to be the woman that I know I can be and have the confidence to stand up without that wall holding me up. 

Yesterday I had a pretty bad dumping episode. I just wanted to die! But it passed and I am doing better now. While I was in my episode I told my husband that I would shoot the person who says this is the easy way out. By no means is this easy. Do you think your heart racing, head spinning, butt exploding, stomach turning is an easy way to be? Do you think having to watch every little thing going in to you and reading every single label for your food is an easy thing to do? Do you think being cut open and having your plumbing rerouted is an easy thing to do? Do you think all the tears, heartache, pain, sorrow, etc is an easy thing to go through? I say no, none of this easy. By all means, there is worse a person can go through, but this has been a hard road. I came across a really great article written by a bariatric surgeon. Here it is:  Surgery Is Not The Easy Way Out

More Measurements

I am 21 days postop. I decided to take my measurements today. The last time I took measurements was July 7, 2013. That is 11 days ago!

Right Arm: 14"   (I have lost 3")
Left Arm: 14"     (I have lost 4")

Right Leg: 29"         (I have lost 2")
Left Leg: 28 1/2"           (I have lost 3 1/2")

Right Calf: 18"         (I have lost 1")
Left Calf: 17 1/2"     (I have lost 1")

Chest: 53 1/2"         (I have lost 5 1/2")
Waist: 51 1/2"              (I have lost 2")

Current Weight: 278lbs   (I have lost 33lbs since highest weight)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: 22-24 

Clothing

As you lose weight, your clothes will begin to sag. You will need to get rid of your old clothes and get new clothes. You don't want to buy brand new clothes when you are in between sizes and going down rapidly. Here is a list of groups on facebook that you can join and buy or sell your clothes!!!

Curvy Closet 

Clothing Swap for WLS 

Plus Size  

WLS Yard Sale 

For Fats Sake 

Yard Sale Weight Loss 

Fat Too 
 

New Measurements

I am 11 days postop. I decided to take my measurements today. The last time I took measurements was June 1, 2013. That is 39 days ago!

Right Arm: 14 3/4"   (I have lost 2 1/4")
Left Arm: 15 1/4"     (I have lost 2 3/4")

Right Leg: 28"         (I have lost 3")
Left Leg: 28"           (I have lost 4")

Right Calf: 19"         (I didn't measure the last time)
Left Calf: 18 1/2"     (I didn't measure the last time)

Chest: 55 1/2"         (I have lost 3 1/2")
Waist: 53"              (I have lost 1/2")

Current Weight: 282lbs   (I have lost 24lbs)
Current Height: 5'5"
Current Size: 24-26 

Servings, Labels, and More

So far today I have had refried beans with some carne asada pureed in it. There was some cheese in it as well. I have had 4 ounces of a protein shake. I have had a stick of mozarella cheese. With all of that I have only consumed 20 grams of protein. The amount I am supposed to have in a day is 60 to 80 grams of protein. 

If I have another serving of the refried beans and a mozarella stick for dinner that is another 20 grams of protein. That would total 40 grams. I would need to find another 20 grams somewhere that I can have for snacks. 

On top of the 60 to 80 grams of protein, I need to drink at least 48 ounces of water. Ever since surgery I haven't really been able to tolerate the crystal light flavors I liked before surgery. When we went to the store I got some propel black cherry. I am hoping this will be something I like. I still really like the watered down apple juice. 

When we went to the store I tried to get some yogurt. I looked at the labels of them and a lot of them had too much sugar. Some had 19 grams, some had 10. We are supposed to have under 5 grams of sugar. I guess the one that had 10 would be ok because it was a 4 ounce cup and if you divide that in half it's 2 ounces and would have 5 grams of sugar. I went with the Dannon Light and Fit Carb and Sugar Control Yogurt. As you can see by the nutrition label it has 5 grams of protein and only 2 grams of sugar!!! I got the vanilla kind.

 It is certainly weird how after surgery you have to focus on food so much more than before. After surgery you have to read the labels and make sure to only get a certain amount of sugar, and make sure you get some protein. I don't want to be eating something just to eat it and it not have any protein. My goals is to have 5 grams or more of protein in what I eat.