3 Days Down, 12 Wake Ups To Go

Well I am almost done with day 3 of the liquid diet. The thoughts and emotions are a lot harder to deal with than I thought they would be. I am having to face the fact that a lot of things in my life revolved around food.

I would get a Starbucks drink and pastry before going grocery shopping. On the weekends I would go out to eat with my husband. If we didn't want to make dinner we would just go out and get something to eat. We have a few places we like to eat that have some sentimental value to me. 

So today when I went grocery shopping I went and got some Miso Soup before I went to the grocery store. It was a liquid, it was an act of buying something before grocery shopping, and it helped keep something in my stomach while grocery shopping. 

I don't really think I am hungry, more that I am used to the act of eating and now that I am not really eating I need to find something else to do.

I have had a few weird cravings in the past 3 days. Some of them include squash, zucchini, eggplant, portabella mushrooms, tri tip, corn on the cob, a huge bacon cheeseburger, and a few other things I can't quite remember right now.

 These are three things that I have been relying upon the past few days and will continue to rely upon until the surgery. 

I also haven't been feeling well lately and I have really wanted some comfort food. McDonald's used to be my comfort food. When I went to the ER the other day all I wanted when I left was some McDonald's, but instead I went home and had a protein shake.

I have a few worries about the surgery. One is the IV they have to place. I have very hard veins to stick. Even if I am hydrated from the day before, I know they are going to have to stick me a few times. I also always get bruises from when they stick me. Another fear is the pain afterwards. I don't handle pain very well, and I have had abdominal surgery before when I had my appendix taken out. These two fears are very minimal though, compared to other fears that someone could have.