First Day Down

So today was the first day of my 2 week liquid diet. I am feeling a lot of different emotions and dealing with a lot of different thoughts.


The head hunger has been semi-annoying today. I keep thinking I am starving but I know I am not. I have consumed my daily water amount, 3 protein shakes, some broth and a serving of sugar free jello. Oh how I would love to eat a giant bacon cheeseburger with a big helping of fries. That is what sounds the best to me right now. 

When I start to feel the hunger I wonder if what I am doing is the right thing. I wonder what would happen if I just didn't go through with surgery and kept eating the way I do and stay a fat girl all my life. So what if I can't do a lot of things, at least I could eat what I want. Then I start to think about how this is the right decision for me and that it's just the head hunger trying to break me down. I want to be healthy and be able to do things that I can't do now. I will be able to eat normal food again, just not right now. 

No one ever said this journey would be easy. It most certainly is the hardest thing I will ever go through. I know that as the days go on this liquid diet will be easier to deal. The funny thing is that before today I was usually drinking a protein shake for breakfast and lunch and eating a sensible dinner, or going out to get something to eat. I think it's the ritual of going out and getting something to eat that is hard to get rid of. It was time for my husband and I to spend together. We just need to spend time together not around food now.

I thought I was prepared for this but I am beginning to think no one can ever be prepared for it until it happens. I mean I know what is going to happen and what I need to do, but emotionally you can't deal with the way you feel until you feel it!